Home » Attitude: Sure Way to the Altitudes (Part lI)

In the earlier part of this piece, an attempt was made to examine what attitude was all about and how it influences the life of man. Attitude is not just an innate characteristic of man which is determined at birth and thus cannot change. It is as inheritable as it is contagious. Either way, man himself has been endowed with the power to overcome his identified shortcomings in whatever form. Attitude is therefore a matter of choice. This simply implies that man can change his attitude for the better, at any point in a lifetime. Before examining how this can be achieved, let us quickly highlight how attitude is developed. The factors that determine attitude formation fall largely under three headings: environmental, experiential and educational.

· Personality. Every man is born distinct. Each with a different physiological and psychological make up. Even though individuals could be grouped into the four basic temperaments, intrinsically each person will be different from the other, and so will their attitudes.

· Environment. As stated in an another piece, titled “what brand is your self esteem?", one’s environment is most times regarded as the strongest controlling factor in attitude development.

· Word expression/labelling. What a child hears, especially in his growing years, has a massive influence on how he thinks and acts later in life. Labelling by others could either spur the child unto greatness by encouraging him or push him into the depths of misery or even grow the demon in him.

· Adult acceptance/affirmation. A child who is constantly fed with acceptance and affirmation regularly is more likely to see life from a positive perspective than one who lacked such.

· Auto suggestions. This is inward feeling nurtured by self communication and expressed by attitude. This refers to self image or self esteem. A man who suffers from low self esteem will invariably exhibit such traits and being give and take, life would definitely pay him back in his own coin.

· Other factors that impact attitude according to John C. Maxwell in his book titled “Attitude" are:

ü Exposure to new experiences which presents opportunities for growth;

ü Influence from association with peers;

ü Marriage, family and job – our security and status.

STEPS TO ATTITUDE CHANGE

According to Norman Vincent Peale, “Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude towards it, for that determines our success of failure". But this attitude, as much as it can be inherited can also be contracted. This means that attitude is not cast in iron and that man possesses the key to decide to be the master or slave of his attitude.Attitude is simply a matter of choice, but it is beneficial to the fellow with a less than desired attitudinal disposition to change his ways or else he will be overpowered and stuck under the weight of his attitude.

Man is neither limited by his education, experience nor environment. He creates his world by his beliefs and feelings. To suppose otherwise, is to think that the tail can wag the dog. Attitude can be changed for as long as man himself is convinced and given to eschewing his old value systems and imbibing new progressive ones. But how is this possible?

· Evaluate your present attitude. The starting point for any determined endeavour is stocktaking. Assessing the point at which you are gives you an idea of how good or bad your attitude is. John C. Maxwell notes that this might be a difficult exercise, but separating the “you" from the “attitude" will increase success rates. Knowing where you are helps determine where and how you intend to go.

· Change focus, seek the positive. It is believed in enlightened circle that man must become a seeker of good to change attitude. Focus on the positive and develop the desire to change. Most people settle down into the comfort of whatever their present state may be, never contemplating any need for change; hence they end up in the net.

· Change your thought patterns. Our feelings are said to come from our thoughts, and that which holds our attention determines our actions. To change our feelings therefore, all that is needed is to change our thoughts.

· Live in the present. Everyone has a life to live, not two. The stakes are therefore too high for anyone to waste his life. Stop living a life of “should haves"; live in the present and stop the destructive habit of procrastination.

· Develop an attitude of gratitude. Grow the habit of being thankful. Count your blessings and not your troubles. Man is so focused on complaining that he forgets his strengths and endowments. In addition, strive to develop other good habits. This is because habits naturally reinforce attitudes.

· Obtain value based education. Education obtained at academic institutions is basically intellectual education. As good as this may be, it cannot not fulfil the needs of man without value based education. According to Steven Miller, of John Hopkins University, “Universities are turning out skilled barbarians because we do not provide a framework of values to young people, who more and more are searching for it". Educating the mind without morals will create a maniac society.

· Write a statement of purpose. In order to have direction in changing your attitude for the better, then write out and sign a clear and specific life goal. Establish what in exact terms you desire to achieve each day. Which attitude you want to tackle. In addition, you may discuss the issues with a trusted and encouraging friend. Desire will without action, live in the heart forever. So take action.

· Develop good habits. Habits are acquired actions or reactions which could be shed with adequate determination. Deciding to possess a good positive attitude is a first step. The real work is in sustaining the zeal for transformation. Fall in love with the challenge of change and watch the desire to change grow.

· Continually chose to have a right attitude. As stated earlier, the desire to change is only a beginning. What comes next, and is more challenging is sustaining the decision to grow and continually maintain the right outlooks. Without a careful guidance, attitudes may and do revert back to their original patterns.

The reader is called upon to bear in mind that these steps to achieving a positive attitude and better living are inexhaustible. The list discussed above should therefore only serve as pointers.

CONCLUSION

Keep striving to become a better father, mother, neighbour, child etc. this is because man has a single shot at life and it will be a colossal tragedy if such is wasted away. A master once implored all men wherever they may be to fix their thoughts on what is true, good and right. Think therefore of things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the good in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about. As Emmet Fox wrote “The secret of life is to take control of your mental state, for if you do this, the rest will follow".

Don’t give up, live up.

About the Author : A passionate stickler for personal development, Tunde sees himself as carrying a burden to make life better for all and sundry. In addition to being a public servant, he is also a public/motivational speaker who would give anything for a better person and society. He is simply a preacher of real life. Married to beautiful Bukola, they both live in Abuja, Nigeria with their children, Lanre, Kolami and Tamilore. Tunde can be contacted on +234 803 697 4522